Things Kids Say: Boys, Booty, & Beyond

Things Kids Say Boys

Aaaaah, the holidays. What is it about Santa, the elves, and all the holiday chaos that brings out the silly and impetuous questions? Recently our now three year old started preschool, and has been learning a great deal about Christmas. And our oldest daughter in Kindergarten has unfortunately been learning about boys. So here are some of the interesting, funny, and downright disturbing conversations we’ve had recently in December’s edition of Things Kids Say!


Lila (age5): “Mommy I have a boyfriend.”

Me: “What’s his name?”

Lila: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Then how is he your boyfriend?”

Lila: “Because he told me he was”.

Me: “No, no no no no…that’s not how it works. He needs to ASK you, and then you get to pick if you want to be his girlfriend. By the way, you’re too young to have a boyfriend. So tell him he’s a boy and can be your friend….but can’t be your boyfriend.”

ringYeah…so I got a chance to meet this little punk boy who staked his claim, then she drops this bombshell on me – he liked her and he put a ring on it. Very sweet, but she had no clue what it meant, and lost it quickly. I did ask her though what she liked about this particular boy who brings a bright smile to her face and she responded:

Lila: “Well he’s cute and has spiky hair, kind of like a dinosaur.”

True love. My husband gave her an assignment, find out his name!


Emy: “Mommy school is too long, I’m too little to go.”

Me: “But what did you like about it?”

Emy: “Painting, compoopers and snack time. But I didn’t like snack so I cried.”

I like compoopers too! But am sad that she cries a little, hoping the adjustment is quick.


At dinner this past weekend we decided to make up a story and everyone could add their own line. Here’s what our three year old came up with:

Emy: “Once upon a time there was a boy named Booty. Amen” (what is it with butts and booty’s?!)

She also liked knock knock jokes that night at dinner, but just couldn’t get them quite right!

Emy: “Knock, knock. (who’s there?) Orange. (Orange who?) Why you crying?”


Emy & Lila Santa 2014Lila: “Why doesn’t Mrs. Claus deliver the presents?”

Me: “Because that’s Santa’s job.”

Lila: “But I thought anything boys do girls can do too.”

Me: “Well she has a different job, she is in charge of making all the toys.”

Lila: “I don’t think that’s fair, she should get a turn to fly and have fun too. Why do boys always get to be in charge like the Principal?”

Yeah, she’s already noticing inequality and the balance of power between men andwomen. Insightful and observant little bugger – glad she’s a thinker though! 


This one threw me, I picked Lila up from school and out of the blue she says:

Lila: “Mommy, when I’m a grandmother, Daddy’s going to be dead. But I’ll hug him before he goes and I’ll see him again in heaven.” 

Morbid right? And on that note I’ll wrap it up….hoping this week brings less death and booty talk, and more kindness and giving. (we can only hope…)

what’s your favorite thing your kids said this week? 

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